My First ICW

Less Early Learning Centre, more late to the party.

ICW: Shugs Hoose Party

So last night (Sunday July 27^{th 2014}) was my first live ICW event. Sold out 6 weeks in advance with nothing announced, Shugs Hoose Party felt like it had to be pretty special.

I’ve been attending local wrestling events for almost 2 years now, however ICW is a level above the rest in Scotland just now, purely for the spectacle they put on. They have a bit of everything, even it it meant waiting a few hours to see Jack Gallagher and Joe Coffey perform a spectacle that made everyone forget about this being other than a wrestling show.

As much as this was my first ICW show, I’ve been following the ‘product’, a term I fucking hate yet it’s very appropriate, for almost the same 2 years I’ve been attending shows.

The show opened with Simon Cassidy and the ever hilarious Billy ‘Fucking’ Kirkwood, It might be a legit middle name in honesty. Despite being plagued with radio mic issues, he had everyone in stitches while also letting everyone know that Dr Sean David had moved on from ICW which received a nice ovation. It’s great when someone with a passion for wrestling and comedy can actually combine both loves, Billy really does a sterling job on the commentary for ICW.

Anyway, on with the show.

Liam Thomson, Carmel in tow, opens the show with an unscheduled appearance to address his opponent, and former tag partner, Kid Fite. This was a segment that I really loved. Thomson made his disdain for Glasgow very apparent, even though I got the impression the crowd wasn’t that Glasgow heavy. He made it clear he wasn’t hanging around for 2 hours to have his ‘I Quit’ match so he wanted Kid Fite, right now.

Never one to back down from a challenge, Fito was soon on the scene. Thomson however, quickly left the ring and continued to antagonise Kid Fite from outside the ring. Thomson soon made his way up the ramp and promptly announced,”I Quit.” This drew a great response from the crowd as Thomson really did come off as a total shitebag. No one was more pissed off about this than Kid Fite, so he assured us he’d get his hands on ‘That wee shitebag’ before the end of the night.

Brilliant. This was so well played by everyone involved and hyped up the inevitable match taking place later in the night. This was one of the few occasions where the Heel pussying out of a match was made logical which also had the benefit of making sure the crowd would be hot for their encounter later on in the night.

Simon Cassidy, honestly it was his fault, was back in the ring to introduce us the first scheduled match of the evening.

Zero-G Championship

Mark Coffey (c) vs Solar

Mark Coffey made his entrance to a good response despite being a member of Polo Promotions and certainly not the good guy in this bout. However, ICW has a crowd that purely respects those who can go and put on a great show. Mark Coffey certainly falls into that category.

Mark Coffey proceeds to inform us that, once again, Solar is unable to compete. This is something that has been going on for months now stemming from one time where Solar legitimately was unable to compete. Coffey continued to tell us that he was still the REAAAAAL ICW champion and that he was the BEST IN THE…

Cue Cult of Personality.

Now, no one legitimately believe this was going to be CM Punk, in fact, I’m pretty sure everyone knew what to expect. Wee M Punk/CM Toal, whichever you prefer, looked fucking amazing. You’d think that people would be tired by the act at this point, but being my first time live, it was amazing.

The thing that made this segment was Polo Heyman. If you saw his promo last week, Jackie Polo can do some braw impressions. This one topped the lot. He had the the outfit and the Heyman stride to match, all of which came to an end as he was was telling the Ladies and Gentlemen about his client, CM Punk… who was promptly kicked square in the mush and pinned by Mark Coffey.

Polo then reverted to his usual self, telling us about Mark Coffey being the real ICW champion. This however was interrupted by the arrival of Solar. It was game on, and it was good.

Solar was pumped for this chance to get his hands on Coffey and the Zero-G championship. From the off, Solar was super aggressive, something I hadn’t really saw from him before. This continued until Coffey was able to fight him off and leave the ring. This resulted in a fantastic chase spot which ended up with a Solar Suicide Dive onto Coffey and the barrier. Back in the ring, Solar had a near fall, which was really as close as he would get. Coffey started to take control, using his size advantage superbly. The pace was slowed significantly as Coffey just chopped, punched and kicked away at Solar before landing a couple of sweet Leg Hook Back Suplexes. Solar kicked out of both and finally landed a sweet DDT from the top rope. That however still wasn’t enough and Coffey soon put him away with the Pump-handle Slam.

Your winner by pin-fall and still Zero-G Champion: Mark Coffey

It was a fantastic back and forth encounter. I did get the impression that most of the crowd hadn’t really seen enough of Solar to believe he had a chance of winning. Coffey was as impressive as ever. He’s only gone from strength to strength since his tour in Zero-1 last year.

Next up, it was the rather solemn looking Bucky Boys accompanied by The Wee Man and Kay Lee Ray. The Wee Man had some braw patter about winning gold in the women’s freestyle judo on Buchanan Street earlier today but told us he also had some shite news for us. Passing the mic to Davie who gave an update on his injured knee, that he was healing well, however they were being made to Vacate their Tag Team championships.

Enter the NAK, Card Subject to Change, Fuckers. Renfrew gets on the mic to remind everyone that they were never beaten for the Tag titles and that they wanted them back, that’s all. It was just up to the Bucky Boys if they wanted to hand over the titles now or beaten to a bloody pulp for them.

Wolfgang’s music played at some point during this, I got the impression he wasn’t showing up after what happened at the last event with NAK beating him within an inch of his life. Not content with that, they showed us a video of Wolfie being attacked at La Cala Bar, which he runs with his faither. The clip ended with sickening kerb stomp from what looked like BT Gunn signalling that Wolfie wouldn’t be turning up.

Despite this, The Wee Man had his usual comedic retort and informed the NAK that Kay Lee Ray would take Davie Boy’s place and that the match was on.

ICW Tag Team Championship

Stevie Boy & Kay Lee Ray vs BT Gunn & Chris Renfrew

You can guess what happened next. It was brutality. Now, this can’t be made clear enough. The NAK are total cunts and they’re excelling at being so. I can’t remember much of the match that followed this segment because I actually felt awful for the Bucky Boys and KLR. That’s how effective these guys are, I can’t praise the work they’ve done highly enough. Justifiably #FuckingHeel

The flow of the match was great though. So much domination by the NAK from the start with several little hope spots for Stevie and Kay Lee before being cut off time and again. Adding insult, nay, injury to injury, Davie Boy eventually tried to make the save but simply ended up having his already injured knee torn to shreds. Some of the highlights was a double suicide dive by Stevie and Kay Lee as well as a fantastic Somersault Plancha by Stevie Boy. However, nothing will remain as vivid in my mind as BT Gunn delivering what is simply the greatest super-kick I’ve ever seen to Kay Lee Ray.

Your winners by pin-fall and New ICW Tag Team Champions: The New Age Kliq

I can’t convey how horrible all of this felt to me. I felt like the cunt telling Jim Cornette and the Funks it was still real to him, dammit. As you can imagine, a post match beat down occurred.

Stevie Boy’s chest was now glowing the same shade as Kay Lee Ray’s hair (as if you didn’t know, BT Gunn chops as hard as he kicks) and the beat down continued ending with The Wee Man having his face double stomped into the mat by Darkside. The NAK left carnage in their wake and they left the scene much different than they found it.

Wee mention here, Dickie Divers was also involved.

We had a wee chance to cool down as we were greeted by ICW founder and owner Mark Dallas and his Conscience, Chris P Toal. Who looked really similar to CM Punk from earlier in the night… After some coaxing, we were informed that ICW will be back at The Garage on August 31^st before aiming for a new landmark by running the Barrowlands on November 2nd for ICW: Fear & Loathing VII.

Now, even though they’ll be around the 2000 capacity mark for this, I get the feeling it’ll be another event to sell-out long in advance. It’s a massive undertaking moving into a place that doesn’t already have the logistics in place. People seem to forget that Barrowlands is just an empty shell venue. If anything, I think that’ll work out better for them. The only concern is that there is no raised platforms, bar the disabled section at the rear, so it might not be the greatest for view. Purely for the fact that this was something outlined by Dallas a few years ago as one of his major goals, the show will be second to none.

The next part of this segment was sublime.

It was an homage, an ode, a slight parody of the segment that changed the course of Wrestling History. September 22^nd 1997. Stone Cold Steve Austin Stunned WWF owner Vince McMahon. July 27^th 2014, Stone Cold Bobby Roberts Stunned ICW owner Mark Dallas. Roberts not only looked the part, but he done the south Texas drawl to a t. The crowd responded to his promo and gave him a ‘Fuck Yeah!’ as he stunned Dallas and was promptly arrested by security.

Next we were introduced to Grado. Who in another moment of genius entered the arena in the manner of Goldberg, accompanied by an appropriately remixed entrance theme. No one receives a consistent crowd response like him and he equally responds to the crowd alike. However, he was about to go head to head with Johnny Moss. Johnny Moss is a physical specimen who looks like he eats folk like Grado for a pre-meal snack. So, it’s safe say Grado looked a wee bit feart.

Grado vs Johnny Moss

There was much trepidation from Grado in the beginning as he didn’t want to enter Moss’ strike zone in fear of being skelped in the face I imagine. However things some got rolling and Moss took control and did end up skelping Grado across the chops a few times before delivering some beautiful Release German Suplexes, one of which coming mid-Grado comeback when Moss caught him in mid air and slug Grado over his head with such ease you wondered if Grado stood a chance.

Well, of course he did. They don’t call him the Stevenston Shooter for nothing. I mean, they don’t call him that at all, sadly. However, he started slinging those trademark rights before landing an elbow right in Johnny’s puss before delivering a couple a Rolls ‘N’ Slice before winding up the Wee Boot. Mossy cut him off there but it wasn’t long before we were treated to an F5 and a Rock Bottom and finally a Wee Boot. Somehow, that wasn’t enough to put Mossy away. Grado dropped back into the comedy shtick and after avoiding another Mossy attack, Grado played the old schoolboy trip and somehow kept Mossy down for the 3.

Winner by pin-fall: Grado

At this point I expected the Intermission as I was pretty tired from standing and prior nights exertions. Who knew muff diving was a Commonwealth sport?

However, we were treated by one of those things that people either get or they don’t. Most people seemed to get the point and it worked. For around the next hour and 2 segments we got no wrestling. Which, as successful as this segment turned out to be, I felt was a total travesty.

Jackie Polo entered the arena to host This is Your Life: Lionheart.

This segment went like the others like it that have gone before. Jackie Polo cut a promo on Lionheart, about how he wasn’t there to celebrate his own life but that we would do it for him. A promo that seemed to be an amalgamation of every barb that Polo has thrown the way of Lionheart during 2014. The fact he was using a lapel mic, made what he was saying unclear at times which made the segment even more antagonising. He continued for about ten minutes telling everyone exactly what he thought of Lionheart before introducing his guests.

Lionheart’s first high school love, his collegiate wrestling coach and the master of the dungeon, Stu Hart, who isn’t actually dead and for some reason had this underlying sexiness about him…

They all did their bit to draw the ire of the crowd which finally reached boiling point when they began to play pass the parcel, which resulted in some pint slinging. Thankfully the arsehole who was in front of me was put firmly in his place by Thomas Kearins. Certainly the first time I’ve saw security holding a referee back! At this point, even I was bored. I don’t think that was intention but it did it’s job in riling the crowd up for the arrival of Lionheart. (Despite Polo saying he wasn’t there, I’m sure everyone saw him chatting to James R Kennedy during Grado’s entrance, but we’ll just let that slide.)

Lionheart, with no neck brace, received a thunderous reception. He was very quick to tell Polo what for and wasn’t mincing his words. When he’s medically cleared to compete, he’ll be there to kick Polo’s cunt in. However, tonight, he also had some friends with him. Enter Ford Kiernan, Greg Hemphill and Gavin Mitchell. Aka yon boys fae Still Game. The mic started to play up again so didn’t hear much of the verbiage however it resulted in the 3 stooges for the segment being laid out by the famous faces. They all celebrated, dished out some free tickets to the Still Game live show and were on their way. Polo was still standing on the stage, eating some leftover cake during all of this. He never flinched. Stoic as fuck. That was until Sweeney showed up and Cobra clutched him right out of the building.

At this point some folk, including one of my mates, actually left because of that segment. Being the savvy character that I am, I knew what greatness was yet to come.

This was the intermission where we were promised a performance by the Joe Hendry fronted, Lost in Audio. They played the songs that have become part of Hendry’s character including one of their own ‘serious’ tracks before launching into some outstanding parodies. I still doubt that anyone has ever found love in Joe Hendry’s face though. One man that certainly hasn’t is Big Damo. During one of the numerous encores that bellowing Irish brogue came across the speakers. “Joe Hendry! Joe Hendry! Shut the fuck up!” They had a wee skit with Boaby the Barman, who was legitimately behind the bar, telling Damo to go kick their cunts in.

Damo vs Joe Hendry

Damo got to the ring through the crowd, where he was met by The Kennedy Administration. James R Kennedy wasn’t having anything to do with that shit while Tim Wylie was subject to a wee mauling as Kenny Williams fled. Leaving Joe Hendry to fend the Belfast Bear off by himself. To be blunt, he wasn’t successful. As much as he tried, he wasn’t overcoming Big Damo. Unfortunately I missed a fair bit of the action in this match, due to being distinctly average height with a terrible vantage point. So, at some point Kenny Williams appeared and having had enough of playing second fiddle to Hendry under Kennedy’s leadership, he seems to have become pals with a bear. A bear who weighs over 300lbs. A bear who can climb up the top rope and sling a dropkick to the other side of the ring. Along with it, punting a steel chair into Joe Hendry’s face and scooping him right out the ring. Christened by the bear himself as The Van Damonator. With that, and Kenny Williams puppeteering the referee, the match was over.

Winner by pin-fall: Big Damo

Damo and Kenny swiftly fled to the bar to pour themselves some points and proceed to get a bit steaming.

I have to say, there has been a huge usage of the word cunt. Taking it back for the common man.

Now this was the aforementioned slot where the ‘I Quit’ match was originally supposed to take place., and by sheer coincidence Kid Fite emerged dragging Carmel along with him. I suppose that is one way to draw a shitebag out of hiding, kidnap his burd and threaten to do things to her.

‘I Quit’ Match

Kid Fite vs Liam Thomson

So, thankfully we got our match. Thankfully, it was braw. Thankfully, I moved away from the area of the crowd where Fito decided to take a big dive into. This went like a lot of these matches do. Briefly in ring before spilling into the surrounding areas. A lot of heavy blows were exchanged during this bout, including Kid Fite’s senton into Thomson and the crowd from a lofty starting position. Eventually we got back through the crowd into the ring where things got back and forth again. There were plenty of counters going on playing on their history as a tag team, which helped build suspense when a table was introduced to the ring. As Kid Fite prepared to powerbomb Thomson through the table, there was a slight hesitation that made you think Fito was going to be the one picking splinters out of his spandex. That never happened, and Thomson was dealt a huge powerbomb through the table set up in the corner. That still wasn’t enough to make him quit.

So, Kid Fite decided it best for himself to wrap Thomson up in the ropes, ensuring the damage would only be going one way. Just as it looked like Thomson was about to feel the force of a steel chair on his napper, Carmel was their to save the day… momentarily at least. Kid Fite was having none of her shite and she swiftly knocked herself out, as if she had never seen what happens when you swing a steel chair near the ropes. Now, being met with the prospect of seeing his burd being decapitated at the hands of his former tag partner, Thomson was unflinching in his position. Going as far as to egg Fito on. Kid Fite isn’t a regular cunt, he’s got some principles these days and smashing burds in the face with a steel chair isn’t something he abides by. Dropping his sack in their face however is right up his street.

With the very real prospect of getting some second hand baw reek, Thomson decides that he better quit.

Your winner: Kid Fite

Post match, Thomson decides he hasn’t really quite and launches a sickening looking knee to Fito’s back. The kind that puts Brazilian superstars in wheelchairs. Thomson failed to realise was dealing with, he forgot that Kid Fite doesn’t leave the ring for an evening without dropping his sack onto someone’s coupon. So Thomson got his just desserts and some nuts on top.

Now, for the next part of the show. I basically zoned out. I fucking love Joe Coffey, out with ICW the path he took to the SWA title over an 18 month period was sensational. He can truly go toe to toe with anyone. Despite that, He isn’t Jack Gallagher. Jack Gallagher does things inside a wrestling ring that just perplex me. Things that make me question the legitimacy of Newtons 3^rd law. The reaction he’s received in SWA over the last 2 years has been phenomenal, now that might be instigated by me and some of my mates being uber marks, but still, it’s huge. So now he gets his opportunity in front of his largest Scottish audience to date. If anyone was worried that he wouldn’t fit, the guy done pure wrestling in a deathmatch promotion in Japan. He was always going to fit in ICW.

Now, we started with Joe Coffey no showing to his music. Then stepping out, guitar around his neck, painted up like fucking Iron Man. Oh, then played Iron Man on guitar. This is ICW and Joe Coffey is Iron Man. Even beyond that, Joe Coffey walking to the ring accompanied by only a kick drum and every one in the crowd beating their chest humming Iron Man is a sight to behold.

As the perfect counter balance, Gallagher came out to Help! by The Beatles which was glorious in it’s own way. If I’d had my usual crew, I’m certain we could have at least got the Ginge chant going, nae luck here though. Also, despite my prediction, I saw no one else in the crowd with his t-shirt on.

Joe Coffey vs Jack Gallagher

This match was wrestling. Pure and simple. People will call this a great ‘technical’ wrestling match, I hate that. This was just wrestling at it’s finest. Two competitors going toe to toe, hold for hold. These guys respect each other and by the end, they had earned the crowds, certainly for Gallagher making his début.

I would usually post a play by play type of review for this, but I just can’t. When ICW put it online, I hope they put it up in it’s entirely. It was magical. Having seen both guys I thought I knew what to expect, when out of nowhere, Gallagher whipped out a flying armbar. I had never seen that before and I near left a mess in the front portion of my underwear.

Joe Coffey was finally able to nail Gallagher with his Spinning Lariat and the match was over. I’ve tried to leave as much of the match out as possible intentionally. YOU MUST SEE THIS.

Winner by Pin-fall: Joe Coffey

Now it was time for the main event of the evening. The only qualm I had about the card was bringing Martin Stone in and getting a title shot straight away. It’s almost as if there was some other reason for bringing two English guys in to début in the two main matches on the card…

Regardless, Martin Stone (Formerly Danny Burch in NXT) was a beast. He may have had some S.W.A.T gear on and came out to Slipknot but he was very, very good.

ICW Heavyweight Championship

Jack Jester vs Martin Stone

Jester got a great ovation, as you’d expect for the ICW Champion. He looked very much ready for this encounter. This was the other side of professional wrestling, this was an all out brawl. Martin Stone threw some of the most legit punches I’ve saw since Big Van Vader and Jester wasn’t holding back either. They were soon out on the floor with bodies colliding with steel barriers and concrete floor. The action continued up to the bar where Stone was firmly in control, until Jester grabbed a metal utensil from the bar and went to town on Stone with it. With a sickening thud, Jester delivered an elbow from the bar onto a prone Stone and sensing the end, Jester took things back to the ring. In what seemed rather a simple conclusion, Jester sunk Stone into the mat with his Tombstone.

Your winner and Still ICW Heavyweight Champion: Jack Jester

Was that it? No blood? No chaos post match. Stone applauded Jester as he left the arena to a good ovation and it seemed to be over. I wasn’t leaving, and thankfully told some around me to stick around…

Card Subject to Change… again.

BT Gunn and Darkside descended upon the ring to inflict some further damage onto Jester, while Renfrew and Divers set up some tables next to the stage. As Divers made his way to the ring, Renfrew disappeared, only to reappear from the entrance with Thomas Kearins in tow. He was cashing in his title shot.

“I’m doing so surrounded by my brothers. You!, you’ve got no friends left.”

Renfrew just had to tempt fate eh? The lights went down and mass hysteria befell the crowd. Could it be, could it be time? Was this #1314? Of course it fucking was. Drew Fucking Galloway. The boy that left Scotland had returned a man. A man that doesn’t let folk batter his pals.

The NAK have dominated just about every person in their path over the last year or so and absolutely decimated the Bucky Boys earlier in the night, however, they fell victim to an unstoppable one man train who wouldn’t be derailed on his mission for the evening. His mission to let us all know, he was back with a fucking vengeance and ready to propel ICW to the next level.

He celebrated with his pal Jack Jester before also laying him out. As much as they are best pals, Galloway is here to stand with no man, he stands alone. Jester just wouldn’t stay down until Galloway launched him through the tables that NAK had set up for him minutes before. Then the stage was Drew’s alone. He told everyone that he was the fucking business and as proud as he was of how much ICW had grown in the 7 years since he, the inaugural ICW Champion, had left for WWE. He was back to take ICW to the next level. He wasn’t just taking a stand for ICW, he was taking a stand for pro wrestling as a whole.

Here We, Here We, Here We Fucking Go!

P.S. That bit of gimmick infringement is all right by me.

Overall, the show was fantastic. If they had put another match, be it competitive or a squash on the card and cut the Polo segment shorter it would have been magnitudes better. In spite of the lull that segment caused it was spectacular. Kid Fite, finally got to boot Thomson’s baws. Mark Coffey showed he has reason to believe he is the Real ICW Champion. The Bucky Boys were left to lick their wounds and count their losses, knowing that they took a battering being majorly disadvantaged. Grado showed that on his day, he can get the job done and surely gained some respect from Johnny Moss. Damo finally got to teach Joe Hendry a lesson and Kenny Williams showed his true value and how The Kennedy Administration wont be the same without him. Joe Coffey and Jack Gallagher showed that regardless of what people think, ICW is all about wrestling. With both gaining massive respect from everyone. Martin Stone showed that he’s no pushover and showed exactly why WWE signed him up. Jester had another successful defence of his title while showing he can do it, without being the underdog. The NAK showed that they will put themselves where they want when they want and Drew Galloway. He showed that for 7 long fucking years, he’s not been a diamond in the rough, he’s been a diamond that was left unloved in some bedside cabinet when he should have been proudly displayed in the front of the shop, shining brightly for everyone to see the star that he is.

I’ll be fucking back.

SWA: Zero1 presents 10th Year Anniversary – Clan Wars: Review

Finally, it has arrived. Clan Wars! SWA’s 10th Anniversary show.

I’ve been hyped for this show for a long time. A LONG TIME. How long? 1 year, 12 months, 350 days. Ever since Mikey Whiplash weasled his way to retaining his title and ending the career of John ‘The Bomb’ Graham, when Joe Coffey drew the battle lines right here in Motherwell. However, Joe Coffey had to earn the right to challenge for the prestigious SWA Scottish Heavyweight Championship, which he duly did at last years Battlezone. So with Joe going head to head with Whiplash, that’s all I needed to see. Oh yeah, it just happens to be in a Steel Cage… with John ‘The Bomb’ as the special guest referee.

Just a small note, but Grado, Glen Dunbar, Damian O’Conner and Eric Canyon all appeared on the 1st SWA Clan Wars event ten years ago in Bellshill. Amazing that they’re all on the card tonight and one of them is arguably on his way to being a British Wrestling Superstar.

So aye, on with the show.

Since I don’t have the excess cash, I couldn’t be one of the lucky few to gain ‘VIP’ access and view the pre-show match but I’ve heard that Ryan Griffin defeated David Conrad in what was a very decent match for the 2 young guys.

After the crowd had entered and began to fill the hall, almost 700 packed in here tonight, we were treated to what was in my totally professional opinion, some really braw cheerleading/dancing/throwing shapes. As good as that was, it was really only a set-up for the only ‘Wrestlemania’ level entrance of the night. Not a word had been peeped to let anyone know the show was starting until those immortal words filled the room…

“Life is a mystery.”

Grado’s ‘Wrestlemania-style’ Entrance

After a few seconds of disbelief, the bass drum kicked in and it became reality. GRADO! Not only that, but he was trouped to the ring by the aforementioned cheerleaders and pulled off a totally perfect cartwheel. He was soon joined by DCT “The International Sex Hero”, Tornado and Celtic Arrow.

Elimination Match
Grado & D.C.T & Tornado & Celtic Arrow
vs
Eric Canyon & Dickie Divers & Adam Carrell & Christopher Saynt

To start things off, Divers called Grado fat. We promptly had to remind Grado that he wasn’t fat. His self esteem rebuilt, things got under way. After some back and forth between the two we were presented with the breakdown of what was once a great team. Adam Carrell and DCT put paid to the MuayTash Experience and got into some chopping action. Adam Carrell wasn’t very happy about that though and after a swift kick to the head, DCT was gone. He’s really making a habit of these short appearances. As Carrell made sure that DCT was removed from the ring, he fell into that old wrestler trap of forgetting his surroundings, swiftly receiving a superkick courtesy of Celtic Arrow. What happened next was one of those things you just don’t ever expect to see at a local show. Celtic Arrow went to the top, only for Tornado to then climb onto his shoulders to deliver a huge splash to Carrell. I mean, that’s great and got a deserved pop. It turns out however, that Celtic Arrow is a bit special and delivers as perfect a 450 splash as I’ve ever seen. Carrell was on his way and his team mates took advantage and beat down on the Masked Avengers. This part of the match ended with Tornado and Celtic Arrow performing separate dives to the outside, taking out Divers, Canyon and DCT on two occasions.

If you wear a mask, out of the ring you must dive.

As usual, when theres more than 2 people in the ring, I lost track of things. However, at some point Tornado dispatched with Divers after delivering his Spinning Firemans Carry Cutter. It’s as good a way to put a match to bed. I’m not saying that wrestlers are a bit daft, but Tornado fell into the trap and was dealt with swiftly after eliminating Divers. So, we’re left with Grado to fight against the odds. As swiftly as he entered the ring, Eric Canyon is dropped on that ‘stack of dimes he calls a neck’ and is on his way. Now, this is where I have to point out something, Chris Saynt has broken the hearts of me and my mates. Big Nasty even ripped up his Saynt sign in disgust at his new found ‘Baddy’ status. So with all his new found venom, he batters a few lumps out of Grado which clearly wasn’t going to last long. After signalling for the patented Roll-n-Slice and following it up with a F5 and being the sole survivor of this fantastic opening bout.

Grado by Pinfall

A lot going on in this match with some fantastic moments bookended by Grado after his recent tv success. A solid opener that had the crowd going.

Mark Coffey vs Rampage Brown

This was a match I had hyped up during the week. Brown was returning to SWA for the 2nd time and taking on a Coffey brother for the 2nd time. The match started out promisingly with Coffey getting the better of Brown. However, after a brutal Irish Whip into the corner, the top turnbuckle was dislodged. The crew were quick to get it sorted and the match continued. Now, it’s easy to put matches into words when there are notable high spots, funny moments or a bit of controversy. This was just a great wrestling match. Coffey just couldn’t put Rampage Brown away. They hit each other as hard as possible and tried their best to just tear at the very sinues and fibers that hold a man together. I know this isn’t a great review, but this was just a great watch. It was like one of those foundation matches that sets off a long term feud. Finally, Rampage got a break and laid Coffey out with a sick piledriver. It was one of those moments where you look to see that the person receiving the move is alright to continue to boo the baddy.

Rampage Brown via Pinfall

Textbook Piledriver

I’m not saying that there was anything dodgy about it, it was just taken so well that it looked deadly. That pays tribute to the quality of everything in this match. Also, Rampage has grown a spectacular Rick Ross-like beard, wait, naw. A Mr.T like beard. Might as well say that as I’m hearing the man talk about his mother. Have to point out that the turnbuckle incident didn’t really hamper the match, but it did distract the crowd from what was a fantastic psychological battle.

SWA Tag Team Championship
The Forgotten(c) (Glen Dunbar & Alex Kavanagh w/Jam O’Malley)
vs
Britains Most Wanted (Scott ‘ The Butcher’ Renwick & Damian ‘Damo’ O’Conner)

I predicted that this is the match that would take place, and it was duly announced a couple of days before the event. As much as I really enjoy booing The Forgotten, they come out to ‘The Memory Remains’ which is one of my favourite Metallica songs. Anyway, They’re followed to the ring by Britains Most Wanted. Now, they’re just wearing singlets with swat vests signalling a massive reduction in their previous ring gear. However, they’re somehow even more intimidating.

Intimidating, ay?

 The Forgotten leave the ring to plot their first move which seems to be simply trying to not look terrified of the challenge ahead of them. Renwick and Kavanagh start us off and it’s a pretty even affair, that is until Renwick takes Dunbar to the corner and BMW start to utilise some uber efficient tag team work. After some quick tags we’re met with the sight of Damo balancing his full weight on the spine of Dunbar and coming down on him with a huge senton. This is where things get a bit dirty. The Forgotten hit the ring leading to everyone getting involved in amongst this Damo seems to have the match won, but he’s not pinning the legal man. Renwick takes the tag in and swiftly delivers a double underhook facebuster to Kavanagh and looks set to add another Tag title reign for the BMW. Unfortunately, Jam O’Malley has the referee in a full on clinch. Dunbar takes this time to crack Renwick over the skull with one of the titles leaving Kavanagh to take the win.

The Forgotten via Pinfall

Damo finally gets back into the ring and is filled with pure unadulterated rage as viciously kicks Kavanagh from the ring. Unable to contain his rage, he chases The Forgotten to the back potentially setting up a future match down the road. The match was short but really put over the cunning of The Forgotten and particualrly Jam O’Malley.

I must point out that from this point on, I’m 2 weeks removed from the event while trying to review it to the best of my memory.

Kenny Williams vs Lewis Girvan

Kenny Williams is a fantastic young wrestler, I made this clear in my preview, however… He also has the appearance of the embodiment of my hate of the modern youth. I’m 24, I’m old enough to hate on the youth of today. Let’s not get away from the fact that this makes him the perfect guy for wrestling fans to love to hate. Lewis Girvan on the other hand is more of a fresh face blue chipper. By that I mean he’s not tanned and covered in tattoos. Anyway, to the match. Williams played to the crowd ensuring that everyone knew he was the one you booed. If you didn’t boo him, you have issues. Williams immediately played up that Girvan was in no uncertain terms to remain clear of his hair all while Williams took liberty with Girvans luscious locks. As Girvan got the upper hand Williams fled the ring and we were back to the start.

Some serious hangtime

If you hadn’t picked it up already, SWA is focused on putting over wrestling and the British style and this was another great example of it. Both of these kickpad clad competitors threw in their fair share of kicks but their were moments of fantastic wrestling. One of my favourite spots of Girvan’s is where he plays possum to taking a volley to the chest before slipping away and getting back on top. I was convinced that Williams was about to cause me to witness my first live decapitation. This was very back and forth througout, Williams hit a fantastic double stomp before Girvan cameback with a variety of kicks, an enziguri a dropkick from the top then a dropkick into a seated Kenny Williams face. Willaims tryed to quell Girvans momentum by locking in a rear chinlock before Girvan fought out and planted Williams with his Double Arm DDT.

Girvan via Pinfall

Jack Gallagher vs Solar

The unfortunate thing about this match was that the crowd just weren’t into it. Both guys have been good guys here since I’ve been going to SWA shows, totally taking credit for Jack Gallagher being booked as a face in the ‘territory’ by the way, and the match was just a bit cold. Haha, Territory. There were times when you could feel the crowd getting into it but things fell flat again. A lot of that might have been to do with the heat and humidity inside the hall as well. I love Gallagher and gave him as much support as possible and even was a bit vocal for Solar, because he’s a bit special, again, in a good way. At times Gallagher was edging into doing some naughty things but he refrained from it. If he did, I’d have booed so hard. Anyway, it was a nice match between two good guys. Gallagher brought his usual bag of tricks with him and within a few minutes Solar was rolled up into a little ball with no where to go. As Gallagher was lining up Solar like Father Crilly did Bishop Brennan’s arse, Solar found a way out of his situation. After a short test of strength, Solar began arm-dragging Gallagher all over the place. At one point he was so ferocious he dragged him right out of the ring. Just as Gallagher had got his bearings back, Solar whipped out a roundhouse to the temple and Gallagher looked done.

Stretch!

That wasn’t to be the case and Gallagher began to wear Solar down with his multitude of submissions including his vaulting rear naked choke which has ended matches before. At some point after this, something wild happened. Something that I wish had happened infront of a hot crowd. I don’t remember who, I’ll assume it was solar, went for a sunset flip which was reversed and reversed again and again and… well, they basically pirouetted in what looked like some wild breakdancing for a considerable time with no one getting more than a 1 count. Finally Gallagher got up and took advantage and got the pin.

Gallagher via pinfall.

It was a nice enough match, but it just didn’t have anything to entice the crowd into it, sadly.

Laird of the Ring Championship
Jackie Polo(c) vs Joe Hendry

Jackie Polo, whatever ‘it’ is, he has it. In abundance. Unlike usual he doesn’t enter while singing his entrance music. The song has been on for a good bit of time before he emerges in a neck brace. Not to worry though folks, he’s only playing up his feud with Lionheart over in ICW, who was in attendance. After cutting a short promo about his fake troubles with his neck he was interupted by his opponent, Joe Hendry (Local Hero). This was not the Local Hero though, this was a man full of pent up aggression looking to exact revenge on Polo for disrupting his band at last years Battlezone. After a short face-off Polo took the cheap shot before they contested a bit of a slap-off. With the markings visible on Hendry’s chest, he took the initiative and planted Polo with his ‘Freak of Nature’ fallaway slam. Polo barely kicks out but gets aggressive quickly, working on Hendry’s knee.

Right in the danglies

Polo then went up for his second rope elbow drop which he proceeded to completely miss allowing Hendry back into the fold. I seem to have missed that these guys are both 6’2” beasts who’ve really been laying into each other which makes this contest all the more exciting. Polo climbs back up top before Hendry grabs him in his delicates before launching him half way across the ring. Polo fought back with a shoulderbreaker and his signature Poloplex and that looked like the match was done. Hendry however kicked out at 2.999999 and somehow found a way to sink Polo head first into the canvas and win the Laird of the Ring title, ending Polo’s 6 month reign.

Joe Hendry via pinfall

After the initial comedy, it was a fantastic but quick match. Jackie Polo should be off to Japan at somepoint after winning the Zero1 challenge last year so him losing the title made sense. It was also good to see Joe Hendry in a full match for the first time.

First Ever Woman’s Elimination Match
Bete Noire & Sami Jayne & Viper
vs
Debbie Sharp & Courtney Stewart & Fiona Fraser

As is common in these matches, we started with a bit of a kerfuffle in the ring with the good gals coming out on top. We start off with Debbie Sharp going up against Sami Jayne. I’ve seen neither of these two before and they put in a good shift and weren’t holding back. A couple of good near falls before Debbie finds herself in the wrong corner. Bete Noire is soon in to get a shot of putting the boot in and hitting some really nice power moves including a cracking suplex. However, Sharp turned the tables and took out Noire, much to her surprise. The momentum didn’t last long as Sami Jayne pulled out a cutter in the same motion as she entered the ring and Sharp was gone. That was impressive and actually popped the crowd. Next up was Courtney, who my mate was being overly encouraging towards, who had plenty of fire and took the fight to Sami Jayne and she was also swiftly deposed of.

Women hit hard too

That just left Viper on her team, which wasn’t really an issue as she’s any match for several women. To the surprise of me and possibly everyone in the concert hall Courtney managed to get Viper off of her feet with a flying crossbody. That only served to enrage Viper further and she landed a sickening splash on Courtney as she sat on the canvas. Now it was down to the hometown girl Fiona Fraser and Viper, a matchup that was featured at the last event in Motherwell with Viper coming out the victor. Just like their previous meeting Fraser targeted Vipers left arm which had her worried. After working on the left arm, Fraser finally got an armbar locked in. It looked inevitable that Viper would tap, however, just when you thought it was over Viper got her arm back and lifted Fraser up and delivered a vicious powerbomb to take the victory.

Viper via pinfall

After the match, Fraser seemed incensed that she wasn’t able to secure the victory in her hometown and she left in a bit of a rage, hmm.

Intermission
This was the longest intermission I’ve experienced at a wrestling event. However, it was for good reason. They took this time to erect the Steel Cage for the main event. The guys kept their cool as it looked like a big hassle setting the cage up, if only it could’ve been hung above the ring.

Cage Match for the SWA Zero1 Heavyweight Championship
with Special Referee John ‘The Bomb’ Graham
Mikey Whiplash(c) vs Joe Coffey

I can’t put into words how much of a spectacle this was. I’ll struggle to describe the match as it is, but it was a battle. There were times where the cage barely held together just as the competitors barely kept themselves in one piece. Like all cage matches, this started as a tense affair with both men looking to gain a significant foothold in the bout. After a bit of a posturing, they locked horns with Coffey getting the upper hand in the strength battle, taking Whiplash off of his feet with a shoulder block. They would continue to brutalise each other with vicious elbows and forearm shots before Whiplash got in a good body slam to ground Coffey.
At this point Whiplash firmly had the upper hand as Coffey was grounded, he then made his first attempt to exit the cage over the top.

Must be dizzy up there

When Coffey realised, he was quick to react and brought Whiplash back to the canvas. That was parlayed in to what was a Live ‘first’ for me as Coffey and Whiplash took turns at launching each other into the cage. Whiplash took the initiative once again and look to gain a swift victory as he requested that the cage door be opened, after a bit of a delay in the door opening, Whiplash looked to have the match won before Coffey managed to drag him back at the last possible second. Whiplash was so close to victory that he actually had a hand on the barricade surrounding the ring, nearly dragging part of it back in with him. Once again, Whippy used his cunning to leave Coffey on the canvas as he headed up top. This time he wasn’t just dragged back to the centre of the ring, he was delivered with a huge back suplex from the top rope. That had the crowd gasping in awe. From here, Coffey was on fire, hitting his signature comeback, Splash in the corner followed by a bulldog with a deadlift gutwrench suplex as the cherry on top. Now, at this point I can’t remember if Coffey took Whiplash for a spin with a big swing before locking him into his Coffey Break submission(Boston Crab) with the crowd egging Whiplash to tapout.

No one should ever question Joe’s agility

Somehow, Whiplash stayed in the match and had a small comeback of his own hitting a rolling firemans carry and securing another near fall. After this point, both guys were out on their feet but somehow Coffey hit his signature Discus Lariat and began to make his way to the top. We had a classic race to escape as Whiplash dragged himself towards to door. They were neck and neck as Coffey teetered on the top of the cage and Whiplash got an arm through the door. However, It was Coffey who dropped to the floor first to bring us the new SWA: Zero1 Scottish Heavyweight Champion. Ending Whiplash’s 673 day reign as Champion. True justice for Joe after Whiplash had screwed him out of his Laird of the Ring title a few months earlier, ending his reign at 581 days.
Coffey was presented the title by Special Ref and SWA Co-owner, John ‘The Bomb’ Graham. The fact I didn’t mention him in the the match review signals how impartial he was in his calling of the match.

NEW SWA SCOTTISH HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION

Coffey via escape

However, As Coffey celebrated his win and made his way to the back with his brother Mark, Whiplash had some issues. He started getting in The Bombs face and telling him exactly what he thought of him. Graham didn’t react, until Whiplash put his hands on him. The Bomb took Whiplash out with a sickening elbow to the temple and that was that. Everyone in the venue wanted to see Whiplash on the receiving end of one of Graham’s signature powerbombs, but that elbow was enough to knock anyone out.

You don’t mess with The Bomb

I can only apologise for the lack of clarity in some of the match reviews, but we’re now over 2 weeks removed from what was a smashing event. SWA have now announced their follow up event in Motherwell, The Battlezone. The Concert Hall is quickly becoming SWA’s Garden and I expect to see it packed out come the 18th of October.

All photos are courtesy of the fantastic David J Wilson and SWA.

@mrdavidjwilson

@swaonline

scottishwrestling.co.uk

Preview of SWA: Zero1 Scotland Presents: 10th Year Anniversary CLAN WARS

SWA Zero1 Scotland
10th Year Anniversary
CLAN WARS

Pre-Show exclusive:
David Conrad vs Ryan Griffin

Two young guys who’ve only recently made their debut will take part in a ‘pre-show’ match for those who’ve paid for premium seating. It should be a good outing for the guys in front of what will be a small but appreciative crowd. Even though it is a pre-show match, the guys should be proud to feature on such a stacked card.

Mark Coffey vs Rampage Brown

After making his SWA debut at the Battlezone, Rampage Brown was on the end of not one, but two losses to Joe Coffey. Here, he will looks to exact some revenge on the younger Coffey brother, Mark. Now, Mark will certainly be as big of a challenge to Brown as his sibling was and I fully expect this to be another rambunctious, physical affair. Both men posses a mean streak which I expect to become prevalent in the match.

Jack Gallagher vs Solar

As a Jack Gallagher superfan, I was a bit underwhelmed to see this match announced after the previous shenanigans in Motherwell (Jack being on the end of a Dirty loss in a 3-way with Whiplash and Polo), but don’t think that I’m taking anything away from Solar. He is a fantastic competitor who has made great strides in the last 18 months, being an SWA Tag Team champion along the way. This is a battle that will divide the crowd as both are huge fan favourites, Motherwell being a hotspot for Gallagher and Solar being the masked high-flyer that he is. I fully expect this to be a non-stop back and forth encounter with some good laughs thrown in.

First Ever Woman’s Elimination Match
Bete Noire & Sami Jayne & Viper
vs
Debbie Sharp & Courtney Stewart & Fiona Fraser

Now, half of the women in this match I haven’t seen in action, with Courtney recently making her debut in Govan at  the co-promotion with IPW:UK. However, the fact that it features Viper and Bete Noire, on the same team no less, makes it something that has to be seen. Having competed as She-X across multiple promotions they know each others games inside out, which will prove invaluable. I see the bigger and more physical team of Noire, Jayne and Viper dominating this encounter, although the team of Motherwell’s own Fiona Fraser, Courtney and Debbie will have the crowd on their side. Also, Courtney manged to sell me a raffle ticket once, and I never buy raffle tickets. Valuable info right there.

Kenny Williams vs Lewis Girvan

What we have here is a match that is only a couple of years away from being a main event anywhere in the country.  I’ll get to Girvan shortly but I’ll start with Williams, who I’ve yet to see compete in the flesh. I have, however, saw plenty of him over in ICW where he has been under the tutelage of James R Kennedy for some time now. Having recently competed in high profile matches with the likes of Lionheart (Get well soon) Williams has firmly signaled his arrival in Scottish wrestling. Now Girvan, who I’ve had the pleasure of see wrestle countless times now, is a different entity. As much as Williams has a better ‘look’ Girvan is a class-act in the squared circle. His ability belies his age with the technical skill of someone much older than his 19 years. He possesses everything that a wrestler would want in his arsenal and puts it all to good affect. This is another match that I expect to be back and forth from the get-go and an exhibition of wrestling skill that will leave everyone wanting more.

8 man Elimination Match
Grado & D.C.T &  Tornado & Celtic Arrow
vs
Eric Canyon & Dickie Divers & Adam Carrell & Christopher Saynt

I’ll start with the obvious here, The International Sex Hero. Never before has anyone witnessed such a swift change in career as we have with D.C.T, formerly the last bastion of Journalistic Integrity, the man with the mustachioed upper lip has returned to save us all, in the sexiest way possible. On a more serious note, his (former?) tag partner ‘The Muay Thai Guy’ Adam Carrell requested to be on separate teams from D.C.T, so that’s a bit of tension that we can look forward to. Alongside D.C.T and Grado (who?) are Tornado and Celtic Arrow, a pair of masked marauders who have looked very impressive on previous outings and will certainly have the crowd on their side.

Facing them are, former SWA Champion Eric Canyon, New Age Kilq member Dickie Divers, Adam Carrell and Christopher Saynt. Canyon is an experienced grizzly veteran at this stage and will be looking to use every trick in the book to secure a shot at the Heavyweight Championship and an unprecedented 4th reign. Dickie Divers was formerly a big fan favourite, but his alliance with Renfrew and BT Gunn has soured his relationship with fans. Adam Carrell is someone that I’ve not seen much of, but I fully expect him to kick D.C.T right in the face. Then we have Christopher Saynt, who is a very interesting case. At some point in the last few months he has went from an ‘all smiles’ good guy to a ‘the worlds against me’ bad guy. I don’t really know the reasoning or explanation of this, but the guy is mega talented. At this point I’d like to take a little break to ask that you watch this video which is pretty important.

All in all, I expect this to be a fantastic match with some good team psychology on the go. I feel like I’m forgetting something though… Oh aye, GRADO! If you’ve heard anything about Scottish Wrestling, I’m sure you’ve heard of Grado. The guy is a brilliant comedic wrestler. The guy just gets it. This will be my first time seeing him since my first Scottish Wrestling event 18 months ago, and to say I’m excited, is a huge understatement.

SWA Tag Team Championship
The Forgotten vs ???

After a good bit of a whinge about being passed over and forgotten about, Glen Dunbar and Alex Kavanagh decided to join forces to pursue the Tag Team Championship, after a short chase, they finally dethroned the Masked Avengers. With the help of their deranged sidekick, Jam O’Malley, they’ve held the titles with no one coming close to changing that. I could speculate as to who will challenge them but personally I’d love to see multi-time SWA Tag Team Champions, Britains Most Wanted. If only because I want to see Big Damo on the end of a great crowd reception.

Laird of the Ring Championship
Jackie Polo vs Joe Hendry

The King of Chat vs The Local Hero
Scotland’s Best Wrestler vs Scotland’s Latest Singing Sensation

I’ll be fair, I made that last bit up. Your need some more catchphrases Joe. Anyway, this is a match with a good bit of a build towards it. At last years Battlezone, Joe Hendry was a man who sang in a band. A band whom Jackie Polo decided to interrupt and subsequently, kick squarely in the mid-section. This happened as Polo entered the Battlezone match, a match in which Joe Hendry made his debut and proceeded to lump Polo over the top and eliminate him from the match. Since then, both men and continued to be masters of the microphone with Joe Hendry proclaiming himself to be out Local Hero. Now, with the Laird title on the line, these men of equal stature will look to use their pure wrestling ability and more than a fair bit of cunning to emerge as the Laird of the Ring.

Cage Match for the SWA Zero1 Heavyweight Championship
with Special Referee John ‘The Bomb’ Graham
Mikey Whiplash vs Joe Coffey

Mikey Whiplash has held the Scottish Heavyweight Championship for (at the time of writing) 666 days. As ominous and looming as that figure is, it’s nothing in comparison to the shadow cast on him by Joe Coffey. For almost a year now, Joe has been there in the background, biding his time, waiting for his shot. Now, that time has come. Having used every dirty trick in the book, Whiplash looks to have ran out of pages. No one is doubting that Whiplash is a spectacular example of what a British Wrestler can be, but that just may not be enough to retain his title in this match, a match that’s been designed to give Whiplash no choice but to defend his title honestly. After several dirty title defenses, SWA owner John Graham has had no choice but to put himself in the middle to ensure that Whiplash can’t sneak his way out again.

The other side to this is that everyone would love to see Joe Coffey with the Heavyweight Championship round his waist. Joe has gone from strength to strength for years now, becoming the finest export of the Source Wrestling School. Having gone to wrestle in Japan and all over the UK, Joe is quickly becoming the fighting pride of Scotland. Joe also has a darkside of his own which tends to creep through in his shouts of ‘No Mercy!’ and that may just be what he needs as he steps inside the STEEL CAGE to meet Mikey Whiplash. I don’t expect this to be pretty, but I do expect to be in awe at what a spectacle this has been built to be.

Everyone who can, should make sure they attend this event. I think I can easily say this will be the finest wrestling event I’ve had the pleasure of attending yet. The card is stacked and the talent is truly fantastic, so if you can, come along.

Clan Wars will be held at Motherwell Concert Hall
Sunday April 5th 7:00pm
Tickets from £12 available at http://skdl.it/15Dw4xf
https://www.facebook.com/scottishwrestling

Review: SWA Zero1 Battlezone

Now, before I get started here, I must express some sort of allegiance to SWA off the bat.

They put on top class events a short distance from where I live which is astounding. I appreciate that they know where their bread is buttered so to speak, and this show paid testament to that. This is my 8th SWA show inside a year, the first being last years Battlezone, so I’m glad to mark this anniversary with a wee review.

Even taking into account that Ultimo Dragon was on the card for his first match on Scottish soil, nearly selling out the venue is a massive achievement. I estimated that there was at least 700 people in attendance, which must be close to double the attendance of last years event. A great sign that things for SWA and Scottish Wrestling is on the up.

Before we even get to the event I’ll set things up a little;

John ‘The Bomb’ Graham won last years Battlezone, then put his career on the line to secure no DQ rules for his Heavyweight title match against Whiplash earlier this year.

*Spoiler*

The Bomb was unsuccessful in his attempt, but went out in great fashion, leaving the Champion laying then putting his faith in Joe Coffey to be the man to take the title from Whiplash.

Speed that up to 2 weeks ago; Whiplash is still Champion and Coffey is putting his Laird of the Ring title and 1000 day championship reign on the line against Scotland’s self-proclaimed ‘Best Wrestler’, Jackie Polo.

With help from Whiplash and a conspicuous Polo Mallet, Polo bested Coffey. The celebrations were short-lived however, as John The Bomb, now co-owner of SWA, announced that Whiplash would defend his Heavyweight title against Polo at the Battlezone. The decision was the best we would get since Coffey was already penciled in for a bout that night.

In a last minute,”Hey guys, here’s a wee cheeky surprise for you.” It was announced that the Heavyweight title bout was now a Triple-threat bout. Jack Gallagher, affectionately, neigh, passionately known as ‘Ginger’ to the Motherwell crowd, was inserted into the bout. Having been in Japan since his last SWA appearance, this came out of nowhere. With him holding a victory over Polo and being on the end of a dubious defeat to Whiplash, he was a deserving addition to the match.

Anyway, the event.

1. Joe Coffey vs Rampage Brown

Joe Coffey is a staple of SWA. The Clotheslining Colossus. He has been able to physically dominate anyone I’ve saw him compete against, but he wasn’t going to get it all his own way. Rampage Brown is a huge specimen of a man. At least 6 foot tall and verging on 250 lbs of pure muscle. This was an enticing back and forth match with a couple of battles of strength, both of which Coffey was the victor. Seeing Coffey dead-lift a man the size of Rampage into a vertical suplex was simply astounding. However, Rampage had Coffey well scouted, avoiding the match winning lariat on no fewer than 3 occasions.
Coffey looked like his days may be numbered when he seemed stuck to the canvas for an eternity, which was really only about 2 minutes, on the receiving end of an everlasting chinlock and camel clutch. Eventually Coffey, who fought back to roars of ‘No Mercy’, launched all his weight into Rampage in the corner before turning him inside out with his vicious discus lariat.

Winner by Pinfall – Joe Coffey

Post match, Coffey celebrated and reminded us that he would be back for the Battlezone.

2. Fiona Fraser vs Viper

These are 2 women who I’ve saw wrestle on a handful of occasions, they are both young but are getting better each time I see them. Fraser is a Motherwell native and was obviously the home favourite here. If you’ve not seen Viper, she is a truly terrifying sight. She dwarfs her opponent to no end, in addition to the single freaky contact lense.

After initially trying to out-muscle her opponent, Fraser opted for speed and agility. In a piece of strategy that I never saw coming, she began to target Vipers left arm. If she can’t pick you up, she can’t throw you to the ground. Unfortunately for the hometown lass the tactic never paid off. Viper continually used her size to bully Fraser. After continually going back to the same arm, Fraser locking in an armbar that truly came out of nowhere. Viper, however, powered out of it and after hurling her entire bodyweight into Fraser a few times, she finally flattened her with a good old splash.

Winner by Pinfall – Viper

3. Masks vs Skins

Solar, Tornado, Ultimo Dragon vs Mark Coffey, Lewis Girvan, Chris Saynt

I’m a huge fan of all the guys in this match. Everyone of them is a fan favourite though, which hurt this match a little. Unfortunately, this match only went for about 12 minutes, and packed in so much action I can barely remember much barring arm drags and kicks.

We start off with Coffey and Solar. They start off exchanging arm drags until the much bigger Coffey overpowers Solar. This continues until Saynt scrambles away to his corner and we get Dragon and Girvan in the ring. Huge crowd support for Girvan, anyone who’s saw him wrestle knows that the boy has potential to go places and he displayed that here. Initially wrestling Dragon to the canvas he looked to be on top, but then Dragon did what he does best. He flipped and he kicked and he tied each of his opponents into wee balls of concentrated pain.

At this point things descended into out right chaos, everyone in the ring trying to hit their finish and get the pinfall. Girvan near had his head taken clean off before most impressively Tornado hit his Airplane-Spin/Cutter, which needs to have an over the top name attached to it, on Coffey. In the midst of all the chaos, Girvan hits the Double Arm DDT and gets the 3.

Winners by Pinfall – Skins

After the match, all men shake hands and take in the adulation of the crowd. These guys are all in their teens or early 20’s, so being in the ring with Dragon will be huge for them going forward.

Intermission – Lost In Audio give us some tunes and tell us that they’ll be back at the next interval. Given that there’s only the Battlezone and Title match to go, that seemed strange.

4. Scottish Heavyweight Title Match: Mikey Whiplash (c) vs Jackie Polo vs Jack Gallagher

This is difficult for me to remember since I lost my voice chanting for Gallagher, who is genuinely my favourite wrestler to watch. He’s like a wrestling wizard who conjures things, seemingly, out of thin air. The reigning Laird of the RIng Champion, Jackie Polo, enters singing his theme song, with his trademark Polo Mallet slung over his shoulder, continuing long after the music finishes until he is interrupted by Gallagher’s music and the rampant crowd’s chants of ‘Ginge!’. The fact that Polo is a very competent singer only furthers the hate he receives. Whiplash enters last and he just exudes evil. Everything about his entrance just screams that he is a bad man.

We start off with a good bit of posturing to the crowd with Gallagher receiving a massive continued ovation. This lasts for a minute or so until he dropkicks Polo from the ring. Whiplash goes for Gallagher who simply begins to unleash about 13 consecutive forward rolls around the ring leaving Whiplash to back into a corner. Whiplash continues to be bested by Gallagher, eventually being rolled up into a ball. Gallagher then sidesteps an attack by Polo who trips over Whiplash, releasing him from his contortion. A 3 way battle of strength ensues only for Gallagher to get the upper-hand, rolling his way into a double wristlock before throwing both opponents to the ground.

The 2 reigning champions decide to team up and batter Gallagher black and blue until he and Polo end up on the outside. Whiplash mistimes his baseball slide and takes out Polo, who is furious and considers disbanding the brief partnership.
Meanwhile Gallagher vaults himself from the top rope and connecting with a flying headbutt on Whiplash. That created a bit of separation and Polo took control of the bout. After dropping Gallagher on his head, he goes to the top rope. This is serious, Jackie usually drops the elbow from the second but he’s venture all the way to the top and, he connects.

Instead of going for the clean win, he reaches for his Polo mallet. Gallagher recovers enough to avoid the strike with the mallet rebounding off the ropes into the centre of Polo’s cranium. As the ref deals with that situation, Whiplash grabs the mallet for himself and strikes Gallagher in the gut and takes the 3.

Winner by Pinfall – Mikey Whiplash

Post match, Kashmir by Led Zeppelin strikes up. When that happens you know that Shit is going down. The new ‘Corporate’ John The Bomb makes his way to the ring. He tells Whiplash that this would be the last time he gets away with such shenanigans and that he would defend his title in the same venue on April 5th against the winner of tonight’s Battlezone. Better yet, it would be inside the deadly Steel Cage. The crowd was sent into raptures by this, only for John to drop another Bombshell. Special Guest Referee, John The Bomb.

Not done with his duties John commiserates Gallagher and informs him that he will enter the upcoming Battlezone at number 30 and that the Polo would enter at number 1.

Intermission – So we get a short 5 minute break as Jackie Polo demands some time to get ready for the next match.

2 Members of Lost in Audio return to the stage to perform an acoustic song while we await the arrival of Jackie Polo and the Battlezone match. About 2 minutes into the song, Polo’s voice starts to bellow from the speakers. He tells the band that he’s also Scotland’s Beeeeest Singer and that he’ll give us a rendition of his favourite songs. After a few minutes the singer pipes up and asks to finish their song. Jackie introduces him as Joe Hendry and demands that he announce Jackie as Scotland’s Best Wrestler. Upon his refusal, Polo attacks him. Launching him down the entry way before turning to the other band member and laying him out. The band members are helped to the back as Polo begins the match.

5. The Battlezone

As with these matches, I lost track but managed to pay attention to most of the major goings on.

Jackie Polo awaits the second entrant… Mark Coffey. Polo looks worried as Coffey looks to avenge Polo’s dastardly win over his brother 2 weeks prior. As they go back and forth Polo clings for his life and slides back into the ring as we get our next entrant. The Machine… clad in all black, black bodysuit, black mask, black wig, The Machine slowly makes his way around the ring in a very creepy manner before entering the match and creeping up on Coffey, who swiftly clotheslines him over the top.
The distraction of The Machine totally made me lose focus at this point so I’ll summarise. I do believe that Celtic Arrow entered at number 4 or around then. He’s another masked guy, along with Solar and Tornado who looks like he has the chops to do some good things. Separately the Forgotten (Who?) entered and took control of the match, triple teaming everybody at some point. There were a lot of unknown faces from east cost company SWE but Claymore stood out, the guy was huge and it wasn’t just his gut.

Then as number 14 was announced, there was no music. It was only Joe Bloody Hendry of Lost in Audio. He tore his shirt and tie off and bolted into the ring, immediately heading for Jackie Polo. After a flurry of uppercuts he had Polo on the ropes but couldn’t eliminate him at the first try. As Polo fought back, Hendry duly dumped him over the top to a great ovation.
Shortly after we were greeted to the entrance of Joe Coffey, who ran to the ring much faster than a man of his stature should be able to, much to the chagrin of The Forgotten who were immediately eliminated by the former Laird of the Ring. A couple more people were relieved of their spot in the match as familiar music struck up. It was only the she-beast Viper (I mean she-beast in the most terrifying, non-derogatory way possible). If anyone thought she was terrifying, the bear like figure of Damian O’Conner entered, shed of his BMW ring gear he somehow was even more intimidating. I put that down to more than the excessive body hair. He proceeded to dish out headbutts left and right before one guy hadn’t had enough and was promptly put in his place.

Meanwhile, Viper eliminated some unfortunate chap all the while Joe Coffey decided that he didn’t want any part of her. Even in the Battlezone, Joe Coffey won’t hit a woman. He’s a true gent. I guess he must have been glad that Fiona Fraser entered to eliminate Viper to exact a small bit of revenge. Unfortunately for her, O’Conner’s BMW partner/former partner/good good friend Scott ‘The Butcher’ Renwick decided that she didn’t belong in ring either and promptly eliminated her. It was also around this time that Martyn Stallyon was ejected from the ring and made a ghastly sound as his body hit the floor, he was being attended to for a wee while so I hope that he was okay. Nearing the end of the match Tornado entered the fray and was on the end of some HBK-style near eliminations. Rampage Brown entered and immediately went to battle with Coffey which left #30 Jack Gallagher to enter to another massive ovation.

At this time, Joe Coffey decides that him his brother Mark would mix it up a bit which ended with Joe performing a giant swing on his brother for almost 10 rotations. Joe continues to astound me with his feats of strength. Finally it got down to Rampage Brown, Joe Coffey and Jack Gallagher. The crowd were pulling for Gallagher more than Coffey at this point which made Gallagher’s elimination an even bigger blow to the crowd. However, the support was transferred to Coffey who proceeded to battle with Rampage like he did in the opening encounter. He nearly eliminates him with a huge shoulder block before knocking him to the floor with a sensationally agile springboard dropkick.

Winner and #1 Contender – Joe Coffey

Post match; Coffey soaked in the adulation with some more cries of ‘No Mercy’. I can’t wait to see him battle Whiplash in a Steel Cage come April at Clan Wars. This is a battle that’s been building for almost a year and it will culminate in something huge.

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The Wyatt Family are not the exception.

Just a short thought on The Wyatt Family and to a bigger extent, the Future of the WWE.

The Rule

The talent in the WWE developmental system are being brought in at a young age and being taught the ‘WWE Style’ from the get-go. Yes, this stops any flaws from creeping in but It will only lead to the in-ring style of wrestling that we see becoming very bland and too formulaic. As long as they continue to sign people with a decent amount of outside experience, that will take care of itself.

What I’d rather focus on is the characters. The only way that the audience can invest in a character is if the talent is invested in the character themselves. The Wyatt Family are a good example of that, as are The Ascension, O’Brian and Victor.  Thankfully, by putting a focus in the development of the talent into creating their characters I can only see this becoming more and more prevalent as time goes on.

No Exceptions

Tyler Breeze, who made his tv debut this week is another who seems to fit the mold. That’s even more of a surprise since it’s only been a 4 week turnaround between this and being the redneck Mike Dalton. Others like Fandango, Sandow and Ambrose show that the proper investment into your character leads to the ability to connect with the audience and the opportunity for them to also invest.

How I would book Wrestlemania 29.

I’ll be going into a bit more depth than just the matches, because honestly, they’re mostly very straightforward.

Pre-Show

– Wade Barrett (c) vs. The Miz (Intercontinental championship)

This is pretty straight forward, Barrett dominates from the start, Miz will do some damage to Barrett’s legs and have his comeback but Barrett will get out of the Figure 4 and retain by hitting the Bull Hammer out of nowhere. I’d have them do a spot where Miz goes for the SKF but Barrett ducks and hits his finish.

Barrett retains via pinfall

I’d try to build Barrett back up from here and give the IC title some meaning. Barrett deserves better.

The Main Show

– Randy Orton, Sheamus, Big Show vs. The Shield

I’d open the show with this, Randy Orton should be the #2 guy in the company, but his personal issues prevent this. Opening with Randy Orton being the first superstar of the evening will get the crowd into it, even though Randy won’t be. I wouldn’t have Randy turn, like has been suggested, I’d rather he did that at Summerslam at the peak of a face feud with Sheamus. The Shield to win through the pure brilliance of their teamwork and possibly Big Show reverting to full on heel and turning his back on his allies. Talking of The Shield, I’d have Ambrose get the pin here, it does seem that they’re favouring Rollins though. The other guys have had their chances to shine, Reigns having the big powerbomb and Rollins getting the singles match on tv. Give Ambrose his spotlight here and watch him shine.

The Shield via pinfall

Coming out of this I’d go for a Face/Face feud between Orton and Sheamus leading to the Orton Heel turn. The Shield would be involved in something much bigger.

– Mark Henry vs. Ryback

Now, everyone’s gonna be hyped from an awesome match beforehand, but dismayed at the lack of an Orton heel turn, so this is gonna have to be good. Unlike a lot of people I have faith in Ryback’s wrestling ability, I believe that he can go for ten minutes and look good without the help of a top worker who compliments his style. I believe this will have the third loudest crowd of the night, purely off of the back of ‘Feed Me More‘ and Ryback hitting Shellshocked on Henry. Nothing needs to be said about Henry, he’s the best heel WWE have and he has his ring craft down to an art these days. Ryback will kick out of a World’s Strongest Slam and after hulking up into a frenzy of power moves hit the Meathook  before wowing everyone with the Shellshocked for the win, Feed Me More

Ryback via pinfall

Post-Mania, Henry should have a couple of weeks off before returning. I can see them turning his awesome smile into part of his gimmick, he wouldn’t have to turn face but he could add a very demonic and creepy side to himself. Out of this Ryback should be heading for the top, the WWE Championship.

  

– Alberto Del Rio (c) vs. Jack Swagger (World Heavyweight Championship)

After the big hoss fight, it would be good to bring things back to some pure wrestling and one of the better storylines leading into this event. I expect both guys to have some over the top entrances but I fear that both guys will get a muted reaction from the crowd, barring Ricardo’s outstanding introduction of Del Rio. I think this could be one of the matches of the night as they are 2 of the ‘purebreed’ guys. It’ll be a showcase of some fine technical matwork with the odd bit of interference. I expect it to become a submission battle with Alberto finally submitting to the Patriot Act.

Swagger by submission…

Then… You know the script here.
Ziggler’s music hits and he makes his way down that very long ramp. However, Big E comes through the crowd and attacks Swagger from behind, hitting the Big Ending and leaving him out cold, giving Ziggler the easy cash-in and victory.

Your new World Heavyweight Champion Dolph Ziggler

– Triple H vs. Brock Lesnar (No Holds Barred with Triple H’s career on the line)

The first of the main events. This will be a vicious affair with some bloodshed the hardway. Firstly, I don’t think for a second that Trips will not be involved in Mania XXX, so does that mean that he won’t be retired here? I’m not so sure. I don’t see what the point would be in having Lesnar lose here after his new contract through to Mania 31. Trips doesn’t need his win back, and barring interference, I don’t think anyone believes that he could take Lesnar in a no holds barred fight, even with HBK in his corner. A win for Lesnar should see him on a quest to win the WWE Championship and The COO can retire to a management role and hopefully have him as permanent GM on Raw. If he truly want’s to run the show, he doesn’t need be as active as he has been. The Lesnar feud has been different from the previous with Undertaker, but that shouldn’t make his appearance at big events a recurring thing.

Lesnar via submission

Lesnar should make his intentions that he wants the WWE Championship very clear on the following Raw, but I wouldn’t expect that match until Summerslam at the earliest. Triple H to be running Raw.

– Team Hell No (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler and Big E. Langston (WWE Tag Team Championship)

Dolph gets to enter with his big shiny belt and his buddy who helped him win it. That may be enough for most people to have stolen the show, but not Mr. Ziggler. That’s right, Team Hell No should lose the tag titles. 2 main logical reasons behind this. Team Hell No has run it’s course, D-Bry is over. He elicits a huge crowd reaction and has a massively popular catchphrase, time to make some bank from that popularity. Anyway, back to the match. I don’t think it will get much time so it’ll be pretty formulaic. Kane will get the hot tag and take out Ziggler, Big E storms in and battles with Kane, We have all 4 men in the ring and Big E dominates, Ziggler picking up the pinfall. I expect AJ to be involved early on but then sent to the back, as so often happens, so no real distraction there. She really should be in a match for the Divas Championship anyway. Dolph get’s 2 titles and properly steals the show.

Your New WWE Tag Team Champions Big E and Ziggy by pinfall

The Team Hell No implosion won’t take place until the following Raw or even Extreme Rules, but it should follow rather rapidly. Bryan can move up the card and Kane can engage in a feud to help get some younger talent over, speaking of which…

– Chris Jericho vs. Fandango

My hand picked favourite for the night. Fandango’s build has been fantastic, the guy just has ‘it’ and that will show through here. They will have a great back and forth encounter before Fandango gets the upperhand through his stiff and vicious offense before going up top for his Leg Drop finish. Jericho will put on the single best performance of the night here, it’s a certainty.

Fandango via pinfall

Fandango should then go through the midcard feuding with someone like Kofi Kingston, since no one else in the midcard gets any sort of a pop from the crowd. Jericho will only be there for a couple more Raw’s so maybe have some more matches with Fandango before returning at some point and putting someone else over. Personally, I’d give him a title while doing so.

– Undertaker vs. CM Punk

Not much really has to be said here, it’ll be a classic, a bona-fide 5 star match. I’m not sure how I’d have this go. Heyman and Punk are such a great combination, but I’d want Punk to turn face here, stop goading Taker into a DQ and fight him like a man. Ultimately earning his respect. That is unless they’re going to continue the feud to Extreme Rules. Regardless though…

Undertaker via submission

The reports are that Punk will be taking some time off, but that Taker will be appearing at a taping in London a couple of weeks before Extreme Rules. If that’s the case, I’d still have Punk continue to be the disrespectful Heel with Taker winning at Mania but still wanting to avenge Bearer and beat more respect into Punk, leading to a Stipulation match at ER. If it was anyone else, Punk would take the win at Mania in this case.

– Tons of Funk & Funkadactyls vs. Rhodes Scholars & Bella Twins

I hope this ends up being shifted to the pre-show, purely because no one has any interest in the story. Also, this is usually the slot where a meaningless match goes, it gives people a nice bathroom break. That’s why I hope they don’t slot Fandango’s debut in here instead. Anyway, I don’t actually expect the usual terrible match. I reckon that they’ll give Naomi a bit of a spotlight to show what she can do. She can actually wrestle and the Diva’s Division need all the talent they can get. Brodus and Tensai to do the big man double act and get the pin on Rhodes.

Tons of Funk by pinfall

On a side note, I’m sure that the poll on WWE.COM a while back had ‘Monsters of Funk’ winning. That would have been a much better name.

– The Rock (c) vs. John Cena (WWE championship)

The main event, the real spectacle of Wrestlemania. This is where my booking idea of Mania and the following year spawns. Yes, it’s a Cena heel turn, but it’s a little more than just that. Let me explain;

Last year, They wanted Cena to embrace the hate, Instead he decided to rise above it. That’s what the good guy does. That’s what John Cena does. The only problem is, that’s not how John Cena feels. That’s not who he really is. John Cena has become a brand, became a symbol of what’s good, wholesome and pure. That’s not the Real John Cena. The real Cena is a guy who will do whatever it takes to win, to get to the top.

For 8 long years, that John Cena hasn’t existed, because he’s been at the top regardless of Championship status. Recently though, that’s not been the case and he’s not really been on top since last year. The Rock is the man standing in his way, and if they booked it properly so would Brock Lesnar be but shh. So, Cena will do anything to beat The Rock, win the WWE Championship and be the Number 1 Man in the company again.

Your new WWE Champion John Cena by pinfall

Subsequently, It’s revealed that John Cena is the guy who brought The Shield together to stop anyone from taking his spot. That’s why they’ve targeted people, to stop them getting to the top. They crossed paths with Cena, but only to avert any suspicion, they never directly stopped him from winning the WWE Championship. They can even incorporate things such as Cena letting them use his gym when down in NXT and that he met them there and hatched his plan. It would give a whole new spin on things and do away with this terrible notion that The Shield, Cm Punk, Lesnar and Heyman are all together in some way, because frankly, that’s just boring.

Coming out of this, a rematch at Extreme Rules where Cena retains and subsequently feuds with Ryback.

The Rise and Fall of Y2J

Chris Jericho is in that echelon of WWE superstars who are all but guaranteed to be in the Hall of Fame someday. However, when he enters the MetLife Arena for Wrestlemania 29; The music hits, the lights go off and his jacket twinkles in all its glory. Will it be in the dark of the New Jersey night, or merely fading into the twilight?

I find it sad that Jericho’s placing on the Wrestlemania 29 card will be affected more by his iconic entrances need for darkness than his stature in the company. He may only be a part timer who hasn’t been relevant since his return over a year ago, but Chris Jericho deserves more than the apparent feud with Fandango. As Jericho’s career heads toward it’s end, he has been more than willing to help the younger talent and put emerging stars over. This has generally been very good for the build of new stars, which the WWE is clearly lacking. Despite this, a well mooted point is that Jericho isn’t a main event player in the eyes of fans today, he’s certainly not a guy that’s going to have a title around his waist any time soon. That means being in the ring or even a feud with Jericho isn’t enough to get someone over on it’s own. Why is this? That’s because of the Fall of Y2J and that’s what I’d like to address.

Let’s go back to the Y2J Problem, the rise of Jericho

In my eyes, Jericho made the single greatest debut in the history of televised entertainment. The internet knew, the insiders knew however, the average wrestling fan had no idea. This was a time when everything on the show was important, the Mid-card wasn’t looked down upon and the Tag Team Division was at its peak. A match from any level of the roster was good enough to grace the main event, even a Diva’s match. No joke. So, after Jericho’s debut he slotted into the mid-card and quickly began to outshine everyone at that level and he became widely recognised as one of the best workers in the company. If anything, this hindered him at first. Ultimately being placed into a long feud with Chyna which did nothing but bewilder everyone as to why his talent was being wasted. Then after an outstanding match at Wrestlemania 2000 with 2 of the other top workers (It’s sad that a still very green Kurt Angle was a top worker) he engaged in a long-term rivalry with Chris Benoit, one of the best in ring feuds of all time. This along with 2 WWE Championship reigns, despite the stripping of one, he was firmly rising to the upper echelons of the roster.

Fast-forwarding past a legendary career, a departure and a brilliant, if not very obvious, return in 2007. We land in 2008, a period where I wasn’t as much an avid watcher of ‘the product’. During this time you could see that Jericho was on top form, he had one of the best gimmicks around and adjusted his move set to compensate for it. It’s not the Jericho that most people will remember, but over that years feud with HBK and World Heavyweight Title reign, it easily became his best year in the WWE and industry as a whole. This was partly because he was able to give the WWE 100%, and partly because he played his role perfectly but mostly because he became a ‘legitimate threat’.

Legitimate

Jericho’s legitimacy wasn’t brought on by his years of knowledge and experience in the ring, it wasn’t even brought on by the strength of his booking in his title reign. It was simply because he adapted to what people in 2008 needed in their Heel champion. A massive part of that was returning in 2007 and bringing the Codebreaker with him. An impact finisher rounded Jericho’s move-set out perfectly, and being honest, there’s not many finishing manouvers more ‘Heelish’ than smacking someone in the face with your knee. Just ask William Regal, he’d concur I’m sure. I felt that it was the final piece of the Jericho puzzle, the thing that would elevate him onto an almost equal footing with HBK as the greatest ‘undersized’ performer in WWE history. Then, for whatever reason, he was placed in that awful feud with Mickey Rourke and the Legends, continued that with Steamboat and then dropped back into the Intercontinental title picture all before a very decent Tag run with Big Show. As time wore on though, Jericho started to fall into his role of helping the younger talent before a punt to the head sent him on his way.

Chris Jericho Wrestler Entertainer

Now, you could take either of those Chris Jericho’s and place them into today’s roster and he wouldn’t be any better off than he is now. And that’s the problem. Jericho has always changed with the times, adapted his persona and in ring style to what was suitable for that period. He almost succeeded in that last year by ‘trolling’ everyone after a series of creepy ‘end of the world’ vignettes.
If he’d continued to troll instead of becoming the a-typical angry heel, it may have worked. His feud with Punk was less than stellar and the match at Wrestlemania 28 was a bit of a let down. Although, nothing comes close to the atrocity that was the Chicago Street Fight That Doesn’t Take Place In Chicago Or In A Street… Fight. Then a rushed programme with Ziggler did nothing more than tease us of what could have been.

Then, with the greatest of surprises, he returned at this years Royal Rumble and battled throughout with Ziggler, although there was to be no real continuation of that feud. As good as he is, Jericho has ‘phoned it in’ on too many occasions now and he just doesn’t have that ability to have a great match with anyone at anytime, anymore. That’s probably more down to a lack of effort or care than anything else. Granted, when I hear that he will be wrestling against any decent workers, I know it will be passable and put in with a Bryan or Punk, it has potential to be off the charts.  The Chris Jericho of 2013 has too much on his plate, Being in a rock band, Being a tv and radio show host, to be the best wrestler he can be. To slightly contradict my assertion of the Fall of Y2J, Jericho 2013 is far superior to the 2012 version. That is very likely that he has realised that he’s not the Jericho of past and seems to be more realistic about his limitations and expectations. Despite this, the face-off between him and D-Bry at the start of the Elimination Chamber was just terrible to watch. Then, despite his best 20 seconds of promo time in 5 years, telling Wade Barrett about his legacy as an Intercontinental Champion, and one of the best triple threat matches in recent history, he seems destined to be stuck in no mans land come April 7th.

I’m not going to go on about how this could be actually turn out to be great or how good a worker that Fandango actually is. It’s just simply terrible that 2 weeks before Wrestlemania, Chris Jericho isn’t booked for a match and if he is, it will be against someone making their in-ring debut. Despite his legendary career, Jericho is a man most remembered for his debut, so perhaps it’s with a hint of irony that at Wrestlemania, it will be his opponent that’s debuting on the grandest stage of them all.

Chris Jericho is the ultimate midcard talent, the greatest Main Eventer that never truly was.

@FrazzaB